.:*I wrote these poems myself*:.

*Healing A Broken Heart*

I'm sitting here thinking about what I should do..

But my brains frozen 'n my heart's broken too.

This time you hurt me too deeply..I feel like I'll be always scarred..

The day that you left me for good was soo freakin hard.

I felt this pain, way down deep inside my heart..

I felt like my whole chest was ripped and torn apart.

I wish I could go back, and turn back the time..

I wish I could start over and once again make you mine.

You hurt me many times, and I've made you cry..

As I'm sitting here writing I'm wondering why.

Why you left me, why you hurt me so bad..

I wish you just knew that your makin me so sad.

You broke my heart and you crushed my soul.

As the days pass without you I lose the goal..

The goal I made to be with you, and work anything out.

But it never worked that way, all we ever did was shout.

I'm hurting without you, but it was worse when we were together.

Now that I feel all of the pain..If feels like it will be here forever.

It will never leave me, it will always stick by my side..

As I get older, when a guy likes me I'll just run and hide.

I'll tell him that I have already been hurt enough.

I'll tell him that my last relationship was just too tough.

I used to think I'd never find a guy that everything he said was lies..

But now as I look back, all the guys did that, I've cried enough cries.

I have cried out for help, but nobody came..

As I sit here thinking about it, I was the only one to blame.

I forgot about all my friends, we started to never hang out.

It was only you that my life was all about.

I stopped going with my friends, just to be with you.

I thought that they'd still be there, no matter what I'd do.

But as it turned out, I was never there for them.

I lost them all one by one because I wasn't their true friend.

When they'd talk about hard times, I'd always bring up mine.

If they'd tell me about a problem, I'd just say that they'd be fine.

I was never there, I never helped them out.

If I could re-do the past, I would of been there for them, without a doubt.

I would of left you alone, I would of gotten over the true love.

I would of turned my back, when you were the one I was thinking of.

I would of just said that you weren't right for me..

And as God would put, we just weren't made 'n meant to be.

Now that I'm done, and I've said what I had to say..

I'll just turn my back, and let you walk away.

I learned that all you caused was hurt, and all you gave was pain.

When it was nice out, you put a cloud over my life so it would rain.

You never brought me good, you always gave me bad..

Now you should know that you were worst I've ever had.

I remember when I used to tell you that you were the best..

But now thats all changed, because now I'm not obsessed.

Now I'm over you for real, and I'm so glad that we are through..

I want a better guy, one that won't do what you like to do.

He will treat me good, he will make sure I'm alright.

No matter what goes on, he won't ever let us fight.

He will be the only answer to my prayers..

He will be my one and only boyfriend that actually cares.

So, now that I'm done writing, I think that you should know..

That you are my true love, the one that I just let go.

When you come and say your sorry, I'll just close the door.

Because you were once that perfect guy, the one I don't want anymore.

Thanks for all the hurt, thanks for all the sorrow.

I really learned my lesson, but I'll forget it by tomorrow..

Because all guys are the same, your just like the rest.

There is no guy out there to say that he's the best.

I was part of your game, I guess I just played along.

After all this time, I thought I loved you but I thought wrong..

Now I know who to love, not you, or him..but me.

I won't cause myself hurt, like you did, I will make myself happy!

~Denise Doutt~ -->8/7/02

*What You Do To Me*

When you don't take the time to call me, You make me feel like you don't even care.     

When you don't ever try to talk to me, You make me feel like I'm a major waste of air.     

When you don't make an attempt to find out how I'm doing.. You make me feel like it don't even matter.

When you don't even tell me you love me.. You make me feel a million and trillion times sadder.

I can't even talk to you about my feelings, You've hurt me so much that I don't know how.

I don't know how to show you what you've been doing to me, You've turned a heart you once filled with love into one you broke now.

I feel like I've lost the whole world I had, and now I have no one to turn to when I need a helping hand.

I wish I could talk to you about the pain you caused me, but you just wouldn't understand.

I know that if I tried to explain it so you could understand, you wouldn't barely take the time to.

Its like when you hurt me it isn't a big deal,  your just making me cry like you usually do.

And thats no big deal because your not the one getting your heart crushed and stomped on, there's no reason why you should feel the pain.

I do everything I possibly can to make sure I'm doing things right and that you are happy with me, I just wish that you would do the same.

If you say that you care about me more than I care about you, then why don't you show it?

If you could just prove to me that you really do care and that I actually mean something to you, then maybe my life would once again fit.

Because if I am all torn apart and if I'm not happy with you, then maybe I should just move on.

Its too much work to keep our relationship aliveand going, and I'm just not that strong.

I was before but now you've drained everything my body and soul had..

Being with you isn't a gift anymore, its just something to make me sad.

I have no more energy, no strength for me to go on..

All I have is a ruined heart and a place with you that I no longer belong. 

You might not know it, but your heart told me you would rather be alone.

And I might not know it just yet, but I bet my heart also told me that I should of known. 

~Denise Doutt~ -->11/7/02

*When I Wonder*

I think about what you mean to me,

but then I just don't even care.

I basically go through each day..

wishing that for once you'd be there!

I upset myself so much, and then I start to cry.

I put up with all this hurt and I don't even realize why.

Just because I love you I let you bring me down.

It isn't even worth it anymore, your never even around.

I just put myself behind you, you always come first.

You're my reason for living..and thats what really hurts.

Leaving you would save me, but I would also die.

This all is so confusing, I think everyone knows why.

Because I love you too much, you love me not enough.

That would be the reason that loving you is so tough.

As I wonder about us, it makes me think so straight.

I should just leave and lose you now, before it gets too late.

When I wonder about our love together, I know what I should do.

I shouldn't go through everyday..loving someone as low as you.

~Denise Doutt~ -->12/14/02